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It is very possible to forget one another during the marriage and the outcome can be devastating. Comfortability, responsibility, and even irritability can play roles in the push couples experience that draw them apart. Valentine’s (V-day) can be a time to remember the marriage and each other.
You know when TLC (tender love and care) is missing from your marriage. If your spouse has communicated that he/she feels alone, sad, dissatisfied, unloved, disconnected, undesired, unwanted, ignored, invisible, etc it can be an indicator that your marriage is in trouble and Valentine’s Day can used to rescue the relationship!
If your spouse complaints are anything like the following;
“you’re always spending time with…, you don’t make time for me anymore…, I miss spending time together…, you are going out without me again…, I feel like you don’t love me anymore… I keep begging you to spend time with me…, you have been working so much lately and it leaves not time for us… when was the last time we spent time together…”
Valentine’s Day is the perfect tool to use to rescue your marriage, here’s why.
Of course, Valentine’s Day (V-day) is defined in many different ways depending on who you are speaking to. In marriage, some individuals view it as “just another day”, it is not acknowledged at all. This day for these group of people is nothing new nor special. You have some who view it as a time to show their significant others’ love by showing each other with gifts and surprises just because it is the norm. Then you have others who view V-day as a way for the government to profit and make money, so they simply ignore the day altogether.
Now there are couples in a marriage where either the wife, the husband or in some cases both parties come to a point in the marriage where they simply feel unhappy. They cannot remember the last time they felt catered to or treated to something special. Some cannot even recall the last time they heard the words “I love you” or they’ve gotten a warm lasting hug or a kiss. What about the couples that come a home day in and day out, passing one another by, not having a clue as to what the other has going on. They live almost as roommates, spending quality time together would sound like a foreign language to them because it has been just that long. What exactly is happening here?…
Many times what this means is that couples have gotten so comfortable in the marriage they don’t believe that it is necessary to continue putting effort into spending time together. Other times there are so many different responsibilities the two are managing like children, work, school, family members, etc they get so caught up and the marriage gets put aside and becomes an afterthought if it is a thought at all. Then you have conflicts that couples don’t manage well or the conflicts snowball into catastrophic occurrences that the couple begins to resent each other experiencing constant irritability with one another. This is a sure way to lose the effects or love and detach from each other. It becomes difficult to desire to spend time together. Instead of becoming more irritated it becomes easier to stay away and avoid one another. Other possibilities can be that couples don’t know how to resolve the issue in a healthy manner and/or they don’t know where to turn to for help (for some many reasons, that’s another topic).
For these couples, V-day can mean a much-needed RESCUE!!! The way this works is that someone will be talking about V-day, stands will be posted to venders who are selling V-day goodies, or it will be advertised on the television screen. Some way somehow you will know that it is V-day and automatically your brain will have you think about it and it’s significance to you and you will also be reminded of someone you love. At that moment the hope is that you realize your marriage has been neglected, your spouse feels ignored, and something needs to be done about it. At that point, you can choose to remember your marriage and do something that will say to your marriage I have taken notice that my marriage has diminished by my absence and I am taking action to reboot the love that has been missing. You can choose to do anything at that time.
If you need help here are some starting pointers below.
- A time to remember each other by sending a love text or making a phone call
- A time to surprise the other with breakfast, lunch, dinner, or a picnic
- A time to make time for each other
- A time to do something thoughtful or special
- A time to get back to the basic
- A time to go on a date just the two of you
- A time to spend with each other
- A time to do something you two enjoy but have not engaged in a while
- A time to talk about light and silly things
- A time to make love
- A time to give a gentle tap on the butt or gesture that says “I remember you”
- A time to turn off all other distraction and turn to the marriage
- A time to hit the reset button
- A time to hold each other
- A time to take a trip into one another world
- A time to ask questions like “how are you today”
- A time to gaze into each others eye
- A time to spend a little money or not but your effort says “I was thinking of you today”
- A time to make the necessary time allocated just for two
- A time simple to remember that your marriage and your spouse need your attention enough times in a day that says “YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN”
Valentine’s Day to the Rescue! Is your marriage depending on it? On this V-day, I hope you choose to rescue your marriage from the neglect that it has suffered so that it can be revived and satisfied!
